Working vs. Stay- at- home Moms…Who has it better?


I read an article on wjla.com and it got me thinking. Was the author of that article right to say that moms who work outside the home were much happier than us moms who work in the home? To be honest I doubt that there is a significant difference for either side. I was once a paycheck earning mom and it was not easy working 8 to 12 hour days and to come home with no energy left for my children or husband. I missed out on a lot of things and it made me feel so guilty for leaving them. By the way, I hate the phrase ” Working Mom”. All moms work, the only difference is that some moms get a paycheck while some get extra  hugs and kisses from their children. I don’t know who did the research on it but I believe that someone did look into seeing how much a stay – at home mom would make if she were to get paid for all that she does. I remember loving that number and thinking that, that person was onto something there for a minute. Anywho, I should get back to the other point I wanted to make about that article. I think I understand why the writer noted that “working moms” were much happier than their counterparts. “Working moms” get a paycheck and there is a financial value placed on the work they do. While stay at-home moms seem to be looked down on at times. In reality, I think that both parties are happy for the most. Some women prefer to juggle motherhood and work life while others prefer to focus on one at a time. For those women who are career minded staying at home in my opinion would be the wrong thing to do because they will resent their children. Then there are those women who work because they cannot afford to stay home. I feel bad for those women because of the guilt that they feel when they have to pack up their young child early every morning and drop them off at either a babysitter’s house or a daycare. I have been there and it felt like I was abandoning my babies. I used to count the hours until I get to see my babies. Now I still feel somewhat guilty for not earning a paycheck because a part of me feels like I should be. I know being here with my children and giving them the time and attention they deserve is better than any amount of money and for now that is what I will do. Am I 100% happy all the time? No way, but who is really happy 100%  all the time?

Here is a question: Do you think that the government should pay parents who stay at home? I will love to hear your opinions on this matter.

I attached the article for those of you, who might be interested in reading it.

http://www.wjla.com/articles/2011/12/working-vs-stay-at-home-moms-who-s-happier–70276.html

6 Responses

  1. I do not think the government should pay at home Moms because they are taking care of their own children whom they choose to have. I babysit other people’s kids and get paid for it, but it drives me nuts when Dads say “I’m babysitting tonight so my wife can go out.” it’s not babysiting when it’s your own kid, it’s called being a good dad ( or mom) and taking care of them. When you make the decision to have kids, you make the decision to take care of them in all ways financially, emotionally, and physically. Whether or not the mom is able to stay home is something to be thought of before choosing to have kids, and decisions about work and finance and such are big things to think about before hand, but the government is not making you have the children so why should they pay someone to take care of their own kids when they choose to have them. With the numerous number of ways to prevent oneself from getting pregnant, it amazes me that people still Have “opp’s” but of you choose to have sex that is your responsibility and your risk to take (even though most birth control when used properly is 99% effective, not to mention you can use more than one method). So what I’m saying is if you have kids they are your responsibility and just because kids are at a daycare or babysitwr that does not mean parents can’t be involved or good parents just means they get a break. For a stay at home mom, especially in the years before school, she is spending so much time with her kids, often she doesn’t have time to recharge herself or can find herself frustrated or trapped at times. All moms love their kids but often times they need a break!

  2. The work vs. home tension and tradeoff has been HAUNTING me for years. I was a full-time management consultant and worked because I thought I had to (I was the breadwinner in the family). This lead to resentment of my husband. Now I’ve scaled back to 50% and I can honestly say that I am the happiest I’ve been in years. But I’m in a lucky situation – having worked for my company for over 8 years enabled me to negotiate a change in role and reduced “non traditional” work week. I feel lucky since others may not have the same flexibility.

    Rearing children at home I believe can be the most rewarded thing a mother can ever do; engaging with your child and forming strong emotional connections is a gift. However I’ve seen many types of moms out there, and many different philosophies and women do not parent the same way; I guess each situation is different but I’m glad I’ve been able to muster up the courage to drive change and make things happier for me.

    I don’t know if the government should pay SAHM. Because of the reason that each woman mothers their kids differently. It would also have a huge impact on the economy since we need to create more jobs, not pull women out of the workforce…. just my thoughts. Interesting question, and I’m glad I found your site.

  3. My blog is http://theeyeoflove.blogspot.com

  4. I don’t think the government should pay SAHM to be at home with their children. I think the government is already assiting some SAHM with enough help like foodstamps, medicaid, WIC, limited cash assitance, housing, and even childcare. A lot of SAHM is using theses resources to be able to stay at home with their families. I’m currently a SAHM and WAHM and my friends and family thinks it’s an excuse just to be lazy and not work. But I personally disagree because when I was working I barely spent time with my kids. The kids was raising themselves and bad things started happening to my children due to the fact that I’m a single, full time working mom. And not to mention that I was too tire to help them with homework, which resulted in them having low grades. Being at home with the kids is the best thing for them, but we need to find a way to finacially support that lifestyle and provide without the goverment taking over the bill. And if they did paid for us to be SAHMs ,then they’ll have the control and call all the shots. Really and who wants that?

  5. I think it’s the same in everything , both sides have good and bad. For my part I am quite happy that I don’t have to race to daycare and work. I am grateful to be able to stay at home and be part of all of my child’s experiences.

  6. This topic is very important to me. Growing up, I never thought I would be a stay at home mom but life took it’s unexpected turns and now here I am, staying at home with my little one. I’ve experienced the benefits of both.

    Personally, I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything. And I have to say that I am much more exhausted at the end of the day than when I ever went to the office. From the financial standpoint, my family is saving almost as much as I made.

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